EPS. 12 How to Get Your Evenings Back: A Sleep Coach's Advice for Exhausted Moms - Transcript

Episode 12: How to Get Your Evenings Back: A Sleep Coach's Advice for Exhausted Moms - Transcript

[00:04] Christi Gmyr: Welcome to Overcaffeinated and Out of Effs, the podcast for burned out, career-minded moms who are ready to stop pretending everything's fine and feel like themselves again.

[00:15] I'm your host, Christi Gmyr, burnout coach for moms, licensed therapist and mom of two. And I'm here to help you reclaim your energy, your identity, and your peace of mind.

[00:25] Whether you're lying awake thinking about the 87 things you didn't get done or silently resenting the people you love most,

[00:32] This is your space to feel seen, supported, and not so alone.

[00:36] So grab your coffee, hot, cold or day old, and let's get into it.

[00:47] Hey, everybody, it's Christi.

[00:50] Welcome to Over Caffeinated and Out of Effs.

[00:53] Today I'd like to welcome our guest, Allison Egidi.

[00:57] Allison is a pediatric sleep coach, which she has been doing since 2016.

[01:04] And a lot of the moms that she works with are struggling with challenging or late bedtimes with their children and or the guilt around holding a consistent bedtime routine and those sorts of things.

[01:16] And so I've invited her today because I'm just so excited for her to share her expertise as a pediatric sleep coach and to talk about how moms can get their evenings back while helping their children get the sleep they need to really thrive.

[01:32] So, Allison,

[01:34] thank you so much for being here today.

[01:36] I'm so glad that you made it.

[01:39] Allison Egidi: I'm so happy to be here. Thanks for having me.

[01:41] Christi Gmyr: Of course. So why don't you just start off by telling us a little bit about yourself and what led you to become a pediatric sleep coach?

[01:51] Allison Egidi: Yeah, I like to say that Allison the sleep coach is Allison 3.0, because I was initially an investment banker for seven years, and then I wanted to get back to the college town where I went to school.

[02:05] So I got into fundraising and was working in fundraising at the University of Virginia.

[02:10] And that's when I had my two kids.

[02:12] And I am someone who thinks I can learn things and get things done.

[02:19] And I read some books on parenting and sleep and I thought, yeah, I got it.

[02:24] And then I was quickly humbled by my first daughter who really struggled with sleep.

[02:31] And ultimately, long story short, it she was two when I stumbled upon a sleep coach. We were still struggling with her sleep. We hired this sleep coach and 11 days later, she had helped me completely put together her sleep puzzle.

[02:45] And she was sleeping through the night and napping and everything was basically fixed. And I went back to my pediatrician and I said, how come I came in here multiple times asking for help.

[02:56] And I switched pediatricians and no one could help me. And she said, the reality is pediatricians get typically less than three hours of training in medical school on sleep.

[03:07] And that just really struck a nerve because sleep is so important.

[03:11] And once I was sleeping, sleeping well, I. My mental health improved significantly and I was able to perform at work and be a better mom.

[03:20] So I ultimately got certified as a sleep coach and just kind of started helping families on nights and weekends. And then the business took off and I went full time as a sleep coach.

[03:31] Christi Gmyr: Oh, my gosh. That is so amazing. Thank you for sharing that. I have to tell you, I am so excited about our conversation today because, honestly, not only do I think the things that you have experience and the things that you are going to be able to talk about are going to resonate in so many moms,

[03:47] but just personally, that was something I really struggled with. So I may have talked about this a little bit on,

[03:53] you know, other episodes before, but I.

[03:56] So my two kids were terrible. Terrible sleepover or sleep sleepers. My daughter, who was sleeping through the night at like a year and a half, and I thought that was bad.

[04:06] And then my son was not sleeping through the night until she was over 2.

[04:11] And I remember being at his, like, 18 month appointment with a pediatrician and saying,

[04:16] he's still getting up seven times a night.

[04:19] And the pediatrician's advice to me, I mean, it was kind of my own fault because I was, to a degree, because I was like, feeding him whenever he was getting up.

[04:26] And the pediatrician was like, you just need to cut him off cold turkey. Which I couldn't do. I did work to scale it back, but even after that, he was still getting up,

[04:35] you know, two, three times a night until he was two. And that was a long, long two years. And to your point,

[04:40] it was. It is really hard to function when you are not getting good sleep.

[04:44] Allison Egidi: So I'm just so, so excited about this.

[04:47] Yes, I. I think a lot of people can relate to that. You start to feel like you're not giving your best at work, you're not giving your best at home.

[04:55] I just really started to feel like I was not excelling anywhere.

[05:00] Christi Gmyr: Yeah. Yeah, no, absolutely.

[05:02] So, with the work that you do, like, what would you say, say, are some of the most common bedtime challenges that you see among the moms that you work with?

[05:13] Allison Egidi: Yeah, I think one of the challenges is that you get home and you want to spend time with your kids, and obviously they want to spend time with you.

[05:24] And then what happens is kids end up going to bed too late.

[05:28] And when kids go to bed too late,

[05:30] then it can set them up to struggle with bedtime in general. So they might resist bedtime. And they.

[05:38] Because they go to bed too late, they don't fall into as high a quality sleep as they could if they went to bed earlier. So then they're more likely to have wakings or awake crazy early in the morning.

[05:49] And so we kind of get on this hamster wheel of overtiredness.

[05:54] And so that can be a real challenge because we're trying to spend time with our kids,

[05:59] but also it's resulting in a frustrating bedtime and not great sleep for anyone.

[06:06] Christi Gmyr: Yeah. And that's really interesting because I feel like. And obviously, from what you're saying, it sounds like this is a myth, and I have heard this before,

[06:13] which is that a lot of times, yeah, kids are staying up too late. They're not getting enough sleep. And I think it sounds like maybe it's a misconception for a lot of people, too, that,

[06:23] you know, if my kid. If I want my kid to get better sleep, I need to make them more tired. But what you're saying is that that is working against them.

[06:34] Allison Egidi: Yes. So obviously the common sense answer would be the more tired they are, the better they will sleep.

[06:42] But the more tired they are, often the harder it is for them to sleep. And then along that same lines is sometimes we'll take it with the approach of let's literally wear them out.

[06:53] So it might be, let's go for a evening walk, let's jump on the trampoline,

[06:58] you know, let's play chase around the house, tickle wrestle. Any of those things that can actually be releasing all those great hormones that you or I might get from a workout.

[07:09] But then it makes it really hard for kids to settle and go to sleep. So that wear them out concept very often backfires.

[07:19] Christi Gmyr: Okay,

[07:21] well, and so then also I'm thinking about. I'm wondering about,

[07:24] you know, bedtime in general. So in addition to,

[07:27] you know, them being tired and maybe wanting to spend time together, like as a family and all of those things that you're talking about.

[07:34] I know a lot of kids also just challenge. They resist. It's not, you know, sometimes they're having a hard time falling asleep, but other times, it's those other kinds of challenges that parents are dealing with.

[07:44] And so when that happens, what do you feel like is usually going on beneath the surface, you know, when a child is resisting that bedtime?

[07:54] Allison Egidi: Yep. And so what age group are you thinking? Are you thinking kind of the toddler group?

[08:01] Christi Gmyr: Yeah. So I'm thinking, well, toddler, I'm thinking really anywhere between new newborns and younger children, but probably toddler ages are probably a good one to think about.

[08:15] Allison Egidi: Yeah. Because it's going to be different depending on the age group. So toddler even into kind of early elementary school sometimes it's a combination between this is when I can get my parents to fully focus on me.

[08:33] So if they catch on to the fact that we're all pretty desperate to get them to bed at the point we want them to go to bed, then it's like, oh wow, look, everyone's focused on me right now.

[08:44] And so they, there can be some attention seeking behavior.

[08:50] And then there's also that second wind category. And I think people really underestimate that second wind of there is a moment where they will have a, a kind of strong pull to sleep.

[09:04] And what it might look like in someone's household is they're grumpy, they're yawning,

[09:10] or they're just having a lull. Like you see them in a law, maybe during dinner.

[09:15] And then that second wind kicks in. If we don't catch that lull and that sleep wave, the second wind kicks in. And in our kids defense,

[09:24] it's hard to fall asleep once you're in that second wind. It's kind of like if I stay up past 10pm When I stay up past 10pm it's like, watch out world.

[09:31] I could take on a project, I could work till midnight because I get another boost of energy.

[09:37] So typically the biggest thing that's happening is that people don't pinpoint is that your child has stepped into that second wind mode. So I

always tell people, keep an eye on it, see if you notice.

[09:49] Like we think about the toddlers, a lot of times it's between 7 and 7:30 where suddenly it's like, oh, they've taken it up to another gear.

[09:57] Christi Gmyr: Mm, okay. And so I'm just curious like, do you have any like suggestions, easy things that people can do when they are noticing that that is what's happening.

[10:10] Allison Egidi: Yeah.

[10:11] So if you have a later bedtime and, and you start to notice like, oh, I do see this like new energy take off around 7:30. Let's say you want to try to get ahead of it and so you don't want your child to be exhausted to go to bed.

[10:27] I generally say you want them to be in, you know, good natured and content until bedtime. But we don't need to see yawning, we don't need to see them seeming super tired.

[10:36] We're getting ahead of the second wind,

[10:38] um, and then having really clear structure around that. So you don't need to slowly back into an early bedtime. So let's say you have a child. I get a lot of three year olds that go to bed between 9 and 10pm and the I think our natural instinct is,

[10:55] do we just slowly back into an early bedtime? And I say, nope, if we see that second wind kicking in at 7:30,

[11:01] we gotta get ahead of it. So we rip the band aid off and we go to an early bedtime,

[11:06] but with structure around that hour before.

[11:10] So making sure we're not having them run around the house after dinner and do things that are revving them up. And then we have clear kind of a bedtime routine where we have consistent steps.

[11:22] So there's not a ton of wiggle room for negotiating. So if your child's saying,

[11:27] but I want one more book or whatever their extra requests are, kids have a million ideas.

[11:33] You would say, like, no, we read three books and we've read three books and now we're moving on to whatever your next step is. So having really clear structure and moving that bedtime up in conjunction with that can be an absolute game changer.

[11:49] Christi Gmyr: Okay.

[11:50] Allison Egidi: Okay.

[11:50] Christi Gmyr: Well. And so I'm wondering too, you know, as you're talking about the structure in these routines, I know one of the things that a lot of moms really struggle with is guilt.

[12:00] And that can be surrounded by so many different reasons, right? There can be so many reasons for that.

[12:07] And so I'm wondering, like, what are your thoughts about that guilt and why maybe it is hard for moms to hold those firm boundaries that you're talking about.

[12:18] Allison Egidi: I relate to this so much because when my kids were little,

[12:23] I used to get home at 6 o' clock with them from daycare.

[12:27] And ultimately after we hired the sleep coach, came to realize that they really both need to be in bed by about seven in order to be their best little selves.

[12:35] And that was a really big hurdle for me because then I had to accept I only had an hour and an hour that wasn't like just hanging out. I mean, to, to hit bedtime in an hour.

[12:47] It's like, get dinner on the table, move on to the bedtime routine.

[12:51] And it seemed very structured and not chill.

[12:56] I got over that hurdle because I started to think to myself,

[13:01] okay, this is what's best for my children.

[13:04] And it Was absolutely. Particularly my oldest, who had struggled the most with sleep. It's absolutely setting her up to be a happier, healthier person. She got sick less often.

[13:16] She was in a much better mood. So we had a lot fewer tantrums after she was sleeping well.

[13:22] And what that resulted in is our mornings were awesome.

[13:26] So it went from the mornings being stressful because we were all tired and grumpy after not getting great sleep,

[13:33] to everyone being well rested and having really pleasant mornings. So I did a little mental shift around, focusing on our quality morning time and reminding myself that she deserved to get good sleep.

[13:48] Even though I was working,

[13:49] she deserved to be able to get good sleep. And then when she had good sleep, our weekends were also a lot more fun.

[13:56] And so I think adjusting around that, another huge benefit that I didn't kind of anticipate was it kind of gave me my evenings back, which I realized that could add to some form of guilt.

[14:11] But what it actually did was it allowed me to recharge so that I wasn't literally on 24 hours a day.

[14:18] And I had time to either prep for the next day to make my morning smoother,

[14:23] or to hang out with my husband or just to chill. I'm actually can't remember if it's an introverted extrovert. Extroverted introvert. But I do like time alone to refuel.

[14:34] And so it gave me some of that time. So it wasn't just go, go, go until I hit the mattress.

[14:39] So all of that helped me kind of move past the guilt. The reality is, I think mom guilt is alive and well in all of us, and we're all going to deal with it at times.

[14:49] If it's, you know, this season, it might be around sleep, and in other seasons it's around something else. But I think it's really powerful for moms to be able to have some time in the evening to refuel and recharge and to then kind of adjust to thinking about how beneficial it is for their child and when are they going to get that quality time and might it be better than it was before?

[15:15] Christi Gmyr: Yeah, no, I hear you. That's definitely something that,

[15:18] you know, I feel like comes up for us, too. I mean, I.

[15:22] My daughter, she's. She's nine now, and I. This could just be my impression. I don't know how accurate this is, but I do think that we tend to put our kids to bed generally earlier than their peers do for a lot of them, obviously not everybody.

[15:35] And for.

[15:36] It's the same thing for me. Like, I absolutely love that time and appreciate that time and need that time at night. But to your point, I think that that also can feed into some of the guilt because there can be this mindset for a lot of people of, well,

[15:49] we sh. I should be spending this time with my child, especially when maybe as younger kids, they do need to get to bed earlier.

[15:57] It's interesting though, listening to you talk, though, because I was going to ask you about that, you know, and how to work through. Through that, but what I'm hearing you say is it's not about me or them replacing time with them versus time for me.

[16:09] What I'm hearing you say is not only is it better for them, but it's really just shifting it. Right. So instead of getting that time in the evening, you're getting that time in the morning on the weekends when it's better quality time anyways.

[16:23] Did I understand all of that right?

[16:25] Allison Egidi: Absolutely. I mean,

[16:27] I think. I actually don't think I ended up with a lot less time with them. Well, maybe because I wasn't up in the middle of the night, so maybe there was some less time hanging out, but the quality of the time improved significantly.

[16:40] So I always encourage parents I work with to focus on quality over quantity because when we were exhausted on the weekends,

[16:48] it w. We weren't our best selves.

[16:51] And so when everyone could at least go into that weekend with energy and being rested, I definitely was a better mom.

[16:59] And I think my daughter was just happier and more energized. And so our time together, the quality of that time was significantly better. And I hear this feedback from parents I work with all the time.

[17:11] It's a hurdle to get over.

[17:13] And then people say it's fantastic, we're all winning.

[17:17] Christi Gmyr: Yeah, yeah. No, absolutely.

[17:19] So then what would you say for moms who are struggling with this? Like, what are some small changes that they can make to have just to have an easier time creating that consistent bedtime routine, especially if they're running into challenges, especially if they are used to sending their kids to bed really late at night,

[17:37] you know what would be some things they could do?

[17:41] Allison Egidi: Well, the first thing I say is give yourself a little bit of grace because it takes some practice. So if you are someone who,

[17:47] similar to me, is getting home at 6 and all of a sudden you're like, okay, I have like a 60 or 90 minute window.

[17:54] It's going to take some practice to find your rhythm.

[17:57] But I generally find when I need to make big changes in my life, it's around having A clear plan and clear structure. So during that period of my life, it was like, okay, what are very simple dinners that I can have that aren't going to take a lot of time?

[18:12] And then my husband and I like to cook. We did more on the weekends with cooking.

[18:17] And then it was having just clear steps. This is incredibly important for toddlers. So after dinner,

[18:25] in this case it was, we kind of start our bedtime routine and this is what we're doing. And mom and dad are taking turns with each child every other night.

[18:33] I mean, I put an incredible amount of structure and that in itself can be hard to commit to. It feels like, oh, this is just one more task I have.

[18:44] I will tell you, it makes everything so much easier. When, whenever I have pain points with my kids, now they're 11 and 12 years old, I always think, what's some sort of system or process I can put in place?

[18:55] And I have to kind of get over that hurdle myself. Cause I'm like, oh, it's one more thing on my mental load to create the structure and put it in place.

[19:03] But as soon as I do, I'm like, I should do that all day, every day. So like now my kids have morning structure on what's supposed to happen in the morning so we can get out the door to school easily.

[19:13] And so the same thing when we think

about kind of the evenings and I really focus on dinner, on what is our structure? What is our structure around dinner. Dinner can be a pain point.

[19:25] What is our structure post dinner? What is our, our bedtime steps and then not being afraid to hold that structure. And I like to say kids have big feelings.

[19:35] Even my 12 year old, I like to compare it to when she was three.

[19:39] So it was like big feelings come in stages during childhood.

[19:45] And I just try to remind myself and remind families I work with is like, we can hold calm space for their big feelings. But then kids adapt so well.

[19:56] So if you can hold your structure for seven to 10 days,

[20:01] you'll actually start to see your kids kind of settle into,

[20:05] okay, now after dinner, we don't run, jump,

[20:08] play. We do X, Y, Z.

[20:10] And then when they're sleeping better, all of that becomes easier. So I think a lot of clear structure, but simple, simple, clear steps with as few transition points as possible can help the most.

[20:26] Christi Gmyr: So maybe not to over complicate it. And then also this idea that it's like an investment, right? So you're investing this extra time and energy up front, but just for a few days.

[20:35] And if you can like really stick with it and have that consistency. It's going to become easier and free up all this extra time for you later. It sounds like.

[20:44] Allison Egidi: Exactly. I mean, an example I could think of is we were having some challenging evenings when my kids started elementary school and they had some after school activities and. And I actually was driving them around after school, so I was with them more.

[20:56] But the evenings, I think because of that felt more challenging. Almost like the more time I had that I needed less structure. It got more and more challenging, which I thought was interesting.

[21:07] And so I really took inventory of, like, where's our greatest pain point in this evening? And I realized it was transitioning them off the screens. I was letting them watch shows while I made dinner,

[21:19] and it was transitioning them off the screens into the dinner. And then they were like, kind of cranky. It just felt broken.

[21:26] And so it took weeks for me to convince myself what I need to do is say no screens during the weekday on a school, during the school year.

[21:35] I eventually did it. I think I had an incredibly frustrating evening. And then I was like, that's it, I'm doing it. And I would say for three days. I got a lot of blowback on that.

[21:44] They were very upset, like, come on, come on, let us watch the show. Let us watch the show. And that was it. And then it fixed all of that pain we were having in the evening.

[21:54] And so I think just taking a little inventory and then getting yourself over whatever hurdle where, you know your kids are not going to be happy about the change.

[22:03] And when you stick to it, it's like, kids are really adaptable. And kids love structure and routine. They might not tell you that, but they truly, truly do like to know what to expect.

[22:16] Christi Gmyr: Yeah, no, absolutely, like, and I feel like that's something that, you know, we hear from people who have had similar experiences that the idea that making these changes or putting these practices into place can feel really like.

[22:31] I don't know if scary is the right word, but maybe like, how is this going to play out? What's this going to turn into? How big of a tantrum am I going to have to deal with?

[22:38] But whether it's this or anything else, a lot of times you hear people talk about how glad they are afterwards, after they get over that hump and things sort of settle in that.

[22:48] That they did it. Whether it's, you know, putting in a sleep routine, whether it's cutting back on screen time, you know, whatever it might be, it sounds like scary going into it, but people are generally pretty Happy after it's done and after they've actually done it.

[23:01] Allison Egidi: Totally. I think getting started is the hardest part.

[23:04] Christi Gmyr: Yes, I would agree with that.

[23:06] So coming back to, you know, this idea of putting routines and structure into bedtime and the challenges at bedtime. Are there any common mistakes or habits that you've seen in people that unintentionally make that time harder for them?

[23:24] Allison Egidi: Yes, I would say it's sometimes giving into these extras, and it feels like at the time, it's like the path of least resistance. So if I just read one more book or I go get them an extra glass of water or whatever.

[23:40] I mean, there's so many extras,

[23:43] you think, okay, well,

[23:44] I'll just do that. That's gonna take me two minutes versus dealing with a tantrum.

[23:51] And it's with a lot of kids.

[23:53] Well, kids. People who want to listen to this episode probably have kids that maybe if given an inch, they'll take a mile. And that's not the case for all kids.

[24:01] Some kids, you could absolutely read the extra book one day. It's not an issue.

[24:06] You know, give them extra hugs and kisses, not an issue.

[24:09] But then other kids are like, okay, great. It's like pulling the thread. Like, I started to pull the thread. What else can I get? Oh, my gosh, that's.

[24:17] Christi Gmyr: Yeah.

[24:17] Allison Egidi: And I have one of both. And. And so I also. Within your family, you can have these kids who are so uniquely themselves and have different needs. So I have one extras would never cause an issue, and then the other, who's the inspiration for my business.

[24:31] If given an inch, she's taken the mile. And so what the mistake I think I see very commonly is, well,

[24:40] I. Yes, I give into this extra. Cause I don't want the tantrum.

[24:43] But then the one extra becomes 2, 3, 4, 5.

[24:47] And so you can always reset. You just have to have a conversation with your child. So if we're talking about, you know, toddlers or older,

[24:56] you just say, starting tonight, this is what we're going to do. Or, I know I've been giving you X, Y, Z,

[25:03] but that's making bedtime really long. And so you want your bedtime to be like five or six steps. It's, you know, take a bath or wash hands,

[25:11] put on your PJs, brush your teeth,

[25:14] read,

[25:15] let's say three books or read for 15 minutes, depending on your child's age.

[25:19] Get tucked in, sing a song,

[25:23] and go to sleep. You want simple routines. I like them to take no more than 30 minutes from kind of that starting the bath to lights out.

[25:31] And so you want to just keep moving.

[25:33] And so having that moment where you get started on saying, I'm not going to give all these extras, starting tonight, we're not doing those things.

[25:41] And then buckle up for the blowback and then you see big steps forward. But I think the most common mistake is like, well, if I just give them the extra, it'll only add a minute or two.

[25:53] But then it just keeps going.

[25:55] Christi Gmyr: Yeah, yeah, Just that minute or two probably can add on to a lot more depending on the child and the situation.

[26:03] So what about with parents,

[26:06] you know, couples who maybe are not always on the same page around some of these things? You know, how do you recommend handling situations where maybe one parent is more consistent with these routines in this structure than the other parent?

[26:22] Allison Egidi: Yes, I get this a lot. And people will often joke like, are you also going to be our marriage counselor?

[26:27] Because we do not agree on how we should handle bedtime.

[26:32] Uh, so usually I'll say, test it out. Let's get curious about it. Because a lot of times one parent,

[26:40] well, both parents truly believe that their avenue is probably what's best. And so I usually encourage parents to try something new. So if what's working now is broken,

[26:53] we know something has to change.

[26:55] And so try something new for 7 to 10 days, see if you see any improvement. But I do think it's important for parents to be on the same page, particularly as we get to older kids, for all kids, even infants.

[27:09] But when you get into that toddler preschool, elementary age school,

[27:14] they're so smart, and if they know that so and so is going to do something different,

[27:21] then it's going to be harder for the parent trying to hold more structure.

[27:25] Or it might be harder for the parent not holding the structure, but it's going to make it hard for the child to settle in and kind of accept this is our routine.

[27:33] So I usually say, can you just get on the same page with,

[27:37] here's what we're going to do for the next seven to 10 days and we're going to be consistent and if it's not working, we will revisit it and maybe try what the other parent wants to try.

[27:45] But if it's really broken, doing nothing is not usually an answer.

[27:50] Um, and usually once we test something out, we can get people on the same page. I mean, the proof is in the pudding. So if your child is getting more sleep and, you know, improves their behavior or they're clearly, you know, happy or having more energy,

[28:06] it's hard to not decide you want to move forward with that. So run it as an experiment and see how it goes. But also totally normal for both parents not to think every idea is the best one.

[28:22] Christi Gmyr: Well, and I'm also wondering too, if you find that you get more buy in and cooperation from the parent who's maybe initially more hesitant or resistant when you're able to,

[28:32] you know, put it out there like that, you know, this is an experiment. It's temporary, seven to 10 days. We're just gonna see how it goes and then we'll revisit it.

[28:40] As opposed to saying this way is better, this is what you need to do and you just

kind of need to get on board with it.

[28:47] Allison Egidi: Exactly, yeah. I mean, I think once people get to me, there's been some agreement that they're going to hire a sleep coach that I usually say, just, you guys don't have to argue about it.

[28:58] Trust the sleep coach. And if it doesn't work, it's on me.

[29:01] Usually that can help. But if you're not hiring a sleep coach and you're just trying to make some changes on your own, I absolutely think it is just, hey, can we try something?

[29:12] Can we be on the same page for seven to 10 days and try it this way and then revisit if it doesn't work?

[29:19] We're not saying that one is wrong.

[29:22] Um, and so I think that approach can be incredibly helpful.

[29:25] Christi Gmyr: Okay. Okay.

[29:27] Well, I have to say this is all. I mean, this is all so interesting to me, and I think that this has been really helpful. And again, as I was.

[29:35] As I was saying before, I think that this is something that so many people can really relate to. I mean, you even said, you know, your.

[29:42] Allison Egidi: Your business just took right off.

[29:44] Christi Gmyr: And that does not surprise me at all because of all the stories you hear, I mean, pretty much everybody that we all know, at least some people who have had these kinds of experiences and a lot of us have had them ourselves or are currently happen now.

[29:57] So thank you so much.

[29:59] I'm curious, you know, so for listeners who are wanting to learn more about this or wanting to learn more about you,

[30:05] where can they go to do that, to learn more about you and the work that you do?

[30:10] Allison Egidi: Absolutely. I have a podcast called how long till Bedtime?

[30:14] Where I cover lots of sleep topics.

[30:16] And then you can also find more information on my website,

[30:20] which is Sleep and Wellness coach. Com.

[30:24] Christi Gmyr: Okay, great.

[30:25] And so that will be on the in the show notes for anybody who wants to learn more about Allison.

[30:33] So before we end for Today, what's maybe one final thing that you'd like to leave the moms with who are, you know, completely exhausted,

[30:42] overwhelmed, dreading bedtime each night?

[30:44] Do you just have any, like, final advice or words of encouragement for them?

[30:49] Allison Egidi: Well, I like to say that there's no one right way to do virtually anything in parenting,

[30:56] and that includes sleep.

[30:58] And so I don't think there's one right way. So when something is working for your child and not working for your child, and it's not the same for your friends and family and coworkers and all the things,

[31:09] that's not to say that you're doing it wrong.

[31:12] And I think what I've learned in parenting is about finding what works for your child and also making a decision that's best for you and your family with the knowledge you have at that time,

[31:28] and then reserving the right to change your mind.

[31:30] And so I. With that, I just think give yourself a lot of grace.

[31:35] This season of being exhausted will pass,

[31:39] but also,

[31:40] you can,

[31:41] you know, move forward with confidence with what feels right to you. There's no one right way to do it, and if what you're you end up choosing ends up not really working, you have the right to change your mind and do something else.

[31:55] Christi Gmyr: Nothing has to be permanent. There's always room to shift and adapt.

[31:59] Allison Egidi: Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[32:01] Christi Gmyr: Well, okay. Well, this is. Again, this has all been so great, and thank you so much again just for being here. I know,

[32:07] you know, you obviously took time out of your day, and I really appreciate it. I know all the listeners really appreciate it. You know, and then just for the moms listening, again, as always, if any of this resonates or if you found any of the things that we talked about today to be helpful,

[32:21] you know, I encourage you to please share this podcast with other moms who might be struggling. And, of course, seek out Allison for any additional help and support, too,

[32:29] because we are all in this together.

[32:33] Allison Egidi: Well, thanks so much for having me, and thanks for the work that you do to support other moms.

[32:37] Christi Gmyr: Yeah, of course. Thank you.