EPS. 13 Back to Work But Not Okay: The Hidden Struggles of Postpartum Mental Health - Transcript
Episode 13: Back to Work But Not Okay: The Hidden Struggles of Postpartum Mental Health - Transcript
[00:04] Christi Gmyr: Welcome to Overcaffeinated and Out of Effs, the podcast for burned out, career-minded moms who are ready to stop pretending everything's fine and feel like themselves again.
[00:15] I'm your host, Christi Gmyr, burnout coach for moms, licensed therapist and mom of two. And I'm here to help you reclaim your energy, your identity, and your peace of mind.
[00:25] Whether you're lying awake thinking about the 87 things you didn't get done or silently resenting the people you love most,
[00:32] This is your space to feel seen, supported, and not so alone.
[00:36] So grab your coffee, hot, cold or day old, and let's get into it.
[00:48] Hey everybody, it's Christi.
[00:50] Welcome to Overcaffeinated and Out of Effs.
[00:54] Before we get started, I just want to give you guys a quick little heads up. I did wake up yesterday with a bit of a spoiler scratchy throat. But I didn't want to reschedule.
[01:04] I didn't think I needed to. Plus I wanted to respect Stephanie, who I'm going to introduce in just a minute, our guest time.
[01:10] And honestly, like, I'm just trying to on this podcast be open and transparent and real. I'm not trying to be perfect, so you notice it in my throat or anything like that.
[01:18] I just kind of wanted to give you guys all a heads up that that is what's going on.
[01:23] But anyway, so for today,
[01:25] I would like to welcome our guest,
[01:28] Stephanie Straub. She is a licensed clinical social worker and private practice owner in Syracuse, New York.
[01:37] Stephanie specializes in reproductive and maternal mental health, supporting women and families throughout their perinatal journey.
[01:45] When she's not working, she spends her time outdoors watching jump reality TV or reluctantly exercising.
[01:53] She is also the proud mother of two beautiful and active daughters.
[01:57] So I've invited Stephanie here today to talk a little bit about the postpartum period, including things such as postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, and the unique challenges that a lot of moms deal with when they are returning to work after having a baby.
[02:14] So, Stephanie, welcome, thank you so much for being here today.
[02:18] Stephanie Straub: Thank you very much for having me. And no worries about your scratchy throat. This is a subject that I'm so passionate about speaking on.
[02:26] You could probably just sit back and I can just take it over from here.
[02:32] Christi Gmyr: I am not even. I know you are going to be a fantastic guest. So for those of, well, most of you I would imagine, don't know that Stephanie, Stephanie and I are colleagues, so we actually know each other outside of the podcast too.
[02:44] And I just, I'm so excited to have her here because she is just a wealth of information, and she's just going to be fantastic. So can you maybe start by telling the listeners, though, just tell us a little bit about yourself and how you got this work.
[02:58] Stephanie Straub: So I've been a therapist. I've kind of done. I'm a clinical social worker, but I've done some different things within the social work field. But I've been a therapist in private practice for the last 11 years, and I've worked it as a mental health therapist for longer than that in other spaces.
[03:19] But I got into this work specifically supporting moms, because I knew as I was working in private practice with somebody else, that ultimately my goal was to open my own private practice,
[03:34] and I wanted to work with a population that was going to make me feel really fulfilled.
[03:42] And I looked at the current caseload that I was working with, and who were the clients that I felt most kind of clinically fired up about working with, and it was the moms.
[03:52] So I think a lot of people come to working in certain specialty areas or niches from their own personal experience. And I can say, you know, I was lucky enough that I didn't experience postpartum depression or anxiety or anything like that when I had my children.
[04:10] But I definitely experience the struggle of balancing a work life and a home life and a personal life.
[04:22] Yeah,
[04:23] so. So, yeah. So it was a con. It was a passion project and a business decision.
[04:28] Christi Gmyr: Yeah. Well, and that, I mean, to your. I think that even what you're saying right now, and I mean, thank you for sharing all of that, like, and I think what you're saying right now is just something that's relatable to so many people when you talk about balancing work and home life,
[04:42] especially with a newborn. And as you know, you know this podcast is meant for those moms, right? Not just newborn moms, but obviously they're a big part of the population, too, you know, these people who are struggling to balance work and home and in this case, you know, with a new baby,
[04:59] too.
[04:59] So I'm wondering if you can talk about some of the most common emotional or mental health struggles that you do see in new moms, especially well, in those really early months right after birth.
[05:12] Stephanie Straub: Sure.
[05:14] I think probably the number one thing that I hear from postpartum moms and, and even well into their parenting journey, if they, if they aren't intentional about this early on or getting the support they need early on, is this loss of a sense of self.
[05:31] It's like, who Am I?
[05:33] One of the things that I hear the most is just like, I just don't feel like myself.
[05:38] And that is a huge shock for a lot of people.
[05:43] You bring this baby in to the world, and you're kind of expected to, like,
[05:49] be at your best. And this is. These are the greatest days of your life. And a lot of them really don't feel like the greatest days.
[05:56] In fact,
[05:57] a lot of them feel like the worst days. And then there's this layer of guilt and shame attached to not loving every second of this.
[06:07] And so I think that's a big,
[06:09] big shock for a lot of people.
[06:12] I think the transition in the marital roles or the partner roles,
[06:16] you know, if you're bringing this baby into the world within a partnership, I think that that is a big transition as well. And the thing that nobody prepared me for is the amount of grief you experience.
[06:31] We lose so much when we enter parenthood,
[06:35] and we gain other things, too.
[06:37] But nobody prepares you for the grief you're gonna feel at. At the life. How different your life is and the things that you lose.
[06:47] Christi Gmyr: Yeah, no, I hear you. And that. I mean, I think that that's also something that, to your point, a lot of people experience all these unknowns, right. Like, a lot of things that were just not necessarily told about, we're not necessarily prepared for.
[07:00] So not only are these challenges things that come up, but a lot of them are unexpected challenges. Right. Again, like, these things that we don't necessarily know are coming, we don't necessarily know we're going to experience, and then suddenly we do.
[07:11] So that can obviously be difficult for a lot of people, a lot of moms.
[07:18] So for those who are listening, you know, and though maybe they're wondering, you know,
[07:23] is this normal? They're having some of these emotional challenges.
[07:27] How can they start to distinguish between, you know, typical adjustment challenges from something like postpartum depression or anxiety?
[07:37] Stephanie Straub: Well, just because something is common doesn't mean that it's normal. Right. So postpartum distress in the form of depression, anxiety, ocd,
[07:49] even ptsd,
[07:51] bipolar, all those types of things affect one in five women. That is a lot. And those are the ones that we are know because they're reported. So my guess would be that number might even be higher.
[08:03] But what we're looking at are when we're kind of evaluating. All right, is this what's to be expected during this transition, or is this now kind of a mental health or clinical issue is the intensity,
[08:17] frequency, and duration of the distress?
[08:19] And one of the little Kind of measuring sticks that I go by when talking with a client and talking with a mom is, is, is it affecting her most of the day?
[08:30] Most days. And if the answer to that, yes,
[08:33] we're probably looking at something that's beyond the baby blues or the typical adjustment to parent.
[08:41] Christi Gmyr: Okay. Okay. And so now are there any,
[08:44] like, subtle signs if a mom is wondering, say, before she comes in to, you know, meet with you? Let's say, are there any subtle signs that she might look out for that, you know, might indicate that.
[08:55] Or a partner or spouse might look out for that might indicate that she is struggling, even if it still appears as though she's functioning pretty well on the outside?
[09:04] Stephanie Straub: Yeah,
[09:05] well,
[09:06] you know, I think that,
[09:11] I think that that thing that I, that I shared earlier of, like, I just don't feel like myself, I. Something just doesn't feel right is a really good indicator and trust that a lot of people might go and see their ob, let's say, at that six week visit and they're kind of told like,
[09:32] well, that's normal, or the baby blues or that type of thing.
[09:36] Well, if that feeling continues to kind of eat at you and nag at, nag you,
[09:41] that's a good sign that you want to go reach out and talk to somebody else and get another,
[09:45] get another set of eyes on it.
[09:48] A lot of times we see with especially women who are affected by the anxiety is this fear of judgment from oe knowing that they're struggling. So sometimes it can be really hard because those people might put up a really, really good front of like, I've got this all together,
[10:12] but inside
they're screaming.
[10:15] And so for the mom is if, if something just doesn't feel right,
[10:22] it means that probably something's not right.
[10:25] Christi Gmyr: Okay. Okay. And, you know, and as you're talking about, you know, the judgment, you know, the fear of judgment that a lot of these moms are dealing with,
[10:34] you know, because society does place a lot of expectations.
[10:38] Right. And so I'm curious, like, what do you feel like, are some of those unrealistic expectations,
[10:45] you know, especially for,
[10:46] you know, moms who may be returning to work, especially if they are struggling with, you know, postpartum challenges or difficulties. Like, what are some of, like what are some of those societal expectations that are maybe not very realistic?
[10:59] Stephanie Straub: Yeah,
[11:00] so you're gonna hear my feminism just ooze out of my mouth right now, but I feel like there's a lot of pressure on women and, and, and moms to kind of work as if we don't have families at home and raise our families as if we don't have work,
[11:18] which is just impossible.
[11:20] And I think some of it is even self imposed. I know when I returned to the work place after having my oldest, I was shocked at how the way that I went about my day, the way I was able to like, remember things and stay on top of my list and all that,
[11:37] like, I. You had changed and. Because I was.
[11:42] And so, you know, a lot of times I speak with my clients and I say, your brain has like all these, like a computer screen has like all these tabs open.
[11:52] Christi Gmyr: Right?
[11:52] Stephanie Straub: And even if I'm not, like, right now I'm looking at my computer screen talking to you, I've got three other tabs open.
[11:58] And so even though I'm engaging with you,
[12:00] you know, my computer's energy is also being directed to these other tabs that are open in the background. And when you have a baby, you just opened a giant tab that is running in the background of your brain for the rest of your life.
[12:16] Christi Gmyr: I was gonna say that like, never goes away.
[12:19] Stephanie Straub: I think postpartum is like an indefinite, like, state of being after you have a child.
[12:27] Christi Gmyr: Right. So.
[12:29] Stephanie Straub: So yeah, so I think that it's really hard to expect yourself or for other people to expect that you're just going to show up the exact same way as you did before bringing a baby into, into your life.
[12:42] Christi Gmyr: Well, that sounds like the expectations, you know, of other people, but maybe the expectations for yourself too, for the moms, for themselves too, when they come.
[12:50] Stephanie Straub: And I think it's the thing that. And it, and it can feel good to go back to work. Like, you know, I think sometimes we also paint the picture of like, oh my gosh, going back to work should be horrible and awful and you should hate it.
[13:00] You should want to stay home with your baby. And I don't think that that's true either because. And a lot of people feel guilty if they're looking forward to going back to work.
[13:08] You know, as much as it was a challenge and a struggle and kind of I had to like,
[13:13] reintroduce myself to my work self, my new work self.
[13:19] I like talking to grown ups. I liked being able to complete a task without having to change a diaper in the middle of it. You know, there were things about going back to work that felt good too, and that's okay too.
[13:31] And I think that we don't talk about that enough either.
[13:34] And, and I think a lot of moms feel some kind of way if, if they're excited about going back to work. They're afraid to, to say that out loud because, you know, they should want to stay home.
[13:44] Christi Gmyr: Well, and then I think on the flip side too, you know, I wonder about any judgment that might come from people who are, you know, seeing you either go back to work or use daycare or,
[13:55] you know, like, for. Even when people, I know a lot of people will, like, use daycare, phagnotic, even if they don't necessarily have to be at work on that particular day or whatever.
[14:03] Because there is still, you know, there's value to,
[14:07] you know, having that time for yourself, whether it is because you're at work, whether it is because you're taking time to recharge or get your stunner or something like that.
[14:14] And so this idea of like, needing a break from baby. Right, like that I think is something that a lot of people struggle with too. Exactly. Exactly.
[14:24] Stephanie Straub: Yeah.
[14:25] Christi Gmyr: So, okay, so coming back to this idea of like returning, you know, to work after maternity,
[14:31] you know, you're talking about people feeling a certain way, you know, especially since feeling good about it or looking forward to it.
[14:37] Do you find that you ever see that any mental health challenges that maybe they've been struggling with might resurface or intensify when a mom goes back to work after having a baby?
[14:48] Stephanie Straub: Well, sure,
[14:50] because even if they have gotten,
[14:55] you know, a lot of that distress kind of well managed, we, we go back to work, we open another new tab.
[15:02] And so there's less kind of mental, emotional and, and resources to go around.
[15:09] And so sometimes we might see a resurgence in worry and,
[15:13] and anxiety or feelings of not enoughness. Okay, I'm coming back to work and I'm not performing the same way that I did before baby. And so now I feel like I'm failing and, and, and the heaviness that that is, or I, I go home and I'm sure if anybody,
[15:31] those listening that have had a baby, you know,
[15:34] and that usually tends to strike right after we pick the baby up from the childcare provider and lasts until they go to bed. And that feels really, really.
[15:44] I probably can't swear, it feels really crappy that you have a more limited amount of time with your baby and then it's like, not enjoyable. And that can really feel sad and distressing and guilt inducing and just.
[16:05] And so I think that those new things that come up once we return to work can kind of reactivate those old feelings.
[16:12] Christi Gmyr: Yeah, yeah, no, absolutely.
[16:15] So one of the things that you have been talking about earlier when I had asked you about some of these challenges that they're dealing with. You mentioned several things. Like one of the ones in particular that you had mentioned, I think it was actually the first one that you mentioned,
[16:27] is that a lot of moms lose their sense of identity, you know, in early motherhood.
[16:33] And so I'm just wondering, like, what would you suggest, like, what are some strategies or ways that moms cope with that, you know, some initial steps they can take if they're starting to notice that in themselves.
[16:46] Stephanie Straub: Right.
[16:47] So I think the thing first of all is that this is going to take time.
[16:53] So whatever I say, there's no timeline to like, okay, it's important to stay connected to that,
[17:00] to those parts of yourself before baby and kind of redefine them. But it's not like you have to do them like week one. Right.
[17:09] So what. But once you kind of get into the flow,
[17:13] may sleep is, you're starting to have a little bit more of a routine around sleep and feeding. And if you've returned to work, that type of thing,
[17:22] you might be able to open up space to return to those parts of who you were before baby that felt good, that fed your soul. So I'm going to use something like exercise.
[17:33] Okay. Because not only does it,
[17:38] I mean, the verdict is in. It's good for us mentally, physically, all that.
[17:42] But there are a lot of people who find joy in it and who, and who like it, whether it's hiking,
[17:47] biking,
[17:48] or like you know, doing a fitness class, that type of thing.
[17:52] But recognizing it's not going to look the same.
[17:55] You might be able to pick up on a Saturday morning before baby and go for a six mile hike for, you know, a four hour bike ride,
[18:05] something like that.
[18:07] That might not be possible, but often a lot of people will kind of use the old saying, throw the baby out with a bathwater, meaning if I, if it can't be the same way that it was before,
[18:18] it's not worth doing. And I would, I would encourage folks to reevaluate that and say, okay, so maybe it's not a four hour bike ride,
[18:26] but maybe it's a half hour bike ride or an hour bike ride and we can still gle gain from that. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.
[18:38] So but recognizing it may not look exactly the same and that's okay.
[18:44] And that it's still important to engage in those things that make us feel like ourselves.
[18:49] Christi Gmyr: Yeah. So really, it sounds like managing expectations around that is like really helpful. But getting back to some of those Same things.
[18:56] Stephanie Straub: Yeah, yeah, yep.
[18:59] Christi Gmyr: So in addition to, you know, exercise, which obviously is a great example because, I mean, you're absolutely right. And I think that that general, you know, people generally recognize that exercise is.
[19:09] Stephanie Straub: Yeah.
[19:10] Christi Gmyr: For them.
[19:11] But what are some other things that they can do? What are some other ways that moms can start to take care of their mental health,
[19:17] especially if they don't have a lot of time or energy? I know. I will say one of the things I struggled with when my kids were born was exercise. I mean, to your point, it looks different, but find time, like, finding time is really hard, especially when you have work,
[19:31] you have other things going on. If you're maybe not good sleepers, maybe you're not getting up really early or wanting to
stay up later,
[19:37] you know, whatever that might look like. So what would be some other things that they could do to take care of that mental health?
[19:43] Stephanie Straub: So when I work with a new client, I look at four things.
[19:47] All right? And, and this is before we go into any of, kind of maybe like the, the situational or the emotional or the familial things,
[19:57] because you can't. It's best not to rewire. Like, if the house is on fire, you don't go and rewire the house before you're putting out the flames.
[20:06] Right.
[20:06] So let's look at what's. What's on fire.
[20:09] Christi Gmyr: All right.
[20:09] Stephanie Straub: And so those things are sleep, which is hard with a new baby.
[20:13] All right. Obviously there's a lot of things outside of our control, but I look at how can we get as much sleep as possible. Okay.
[20:21] Within the context of having young children at home. So sleep, movement. So I say movement because it may not always be able to be exercise. Maybe it is walking, you know, with the baby in a stroller or carrier or something, or taking the dog for a walk.
[20:35] But, but it's movement. Okay.
[20:38] Our nutrition,
[20:40] like, I know, like, when we're home, sometimes, like nap time comes and the thing that we're looking forward to, I know for me it was a jar, Nutella and a spoon.
[20:51] But if, if, if eating can, like throughout the day is difficult, is kind of important to make nutrient dense choices. And I'm sorry to be a Debbie Toner about it.
[21:02] Right.
[21:03] And then our medical care. Go to your six week. You know, I know it's a drag, but go to your six week. And, and, and it's also not a bad idea to just get a regular physical because, you know, your whole, your physical, everything changes and is affected with a new baby.
[21:19] So get your Blood work, be up to date on those things. So that's where I start with everybody. And then once those are kind of like, we gotta have a good plan towards managing those.
[21:28] Well,
[21:29] I do what I call the honorable mentions, which is,
[21:32] what do you do just for fun or leisure?
[21:34] Right. A hobby. If you're reading ****,
[21:37] if you watch, like I said, junk reality shows or. Or you have other hobbies like crafting or those types of things.
[21:44] Christi Gmyr: Okay.
[21:44] Stephanie Straub: And again, might not look exactly the same. You might only get to read 3 pages of your, you know, romance novel instead of chapters. But, hey, you got the three pages in social supports.
[21:58] So, like, connecting with other people,
[22:00] especially if you have other moms in your world who can just say, yeah, I know.
[22:05] Like, we don't want the fakey moms. We want the real moms that are gonna, like,
[22:09] share how hard this is and be real with you. And then any sort of spirituality, if that's a part of your life, doesn't necessarily have to be faith or religion.
[22:17] It can be,
[22:18] you know, meditation, yoga,
[22:20] mindfulness,
[22:22] nature.
[22:22] But those are kind of the honorable mentions. So those first four get,
[22:27] you know, on point, and then we build on those with a. With the honorable mention.
[22:32] Christi Gmyr: Okay, well. And so, and as you were talking, like, one of the things you mentioned was supports and, you know, turning to other moms, you know, especially, like, real moms who are really going to be able to get it and empathize and, you know, that sort of thing.
[22:44] One of the things that I know a lot of moms really struggle with is, well, for starters, this feeling of isolation, but then just this general idea of utilizing support.
[22:57] Right. Partially because sometimes they don't feel like they have a big support system. You know, maybe they don't have friends or family locally or, you know, the. Maybe they're concerned about asking them for help and support, you know, especially if they know, because I know that can be another source of guilt.
[23:12] A lot of people that don't want to burden others and whatnot,
[23:15] or think that they're burdening others.
[23:17] So what kinds of support, like, would you recommend for a mom? Especially a mom who's maybe going back to work and having.
[23:27] Stephanie Straub: Yeah, so I think. And I was. I actually just encountered this with a client there this week. There is a gap for. For working moms. There are a lot of supports out there, but a lot of them happen during the day.
[23:41] So moms who are working during the day feel especially challenged to make those connections. It's not impossible.
[23:49] Right. But there. There are additional challenges Because a lot of those supports that exist do happen,
[23:54] you know, and are more geared towards moms who have more flexible work schedules or who are. Or stay working at home with the kids and the family.
[24:03] But, you know, you. You look on your face, I know it's icky, but this is where the information is. You look on your Facebook groups or social media and you.
[24:11] And you find those available resources in your community.
[24:15] Faith communities often have options as well. But let me tell you, you are not alone. And. And I'm gonna just like, be,
[24:24] I don't know, a bossy pants right now is that people say they're struggling, people say community,
[24:30] and then they struggle to push themselves to go out and do the thing.
[24:34] We've got to push ourselves to go do the thing. I know you're exhausted. I know you're tired.
[24:40] I know that. It just feels like that's one more thing to do.
[24:44] You will get a return on your investment of time and energy,
[24:49] you know, but I can't. The amount of people who try to set up play dates and then somebody like, bails or they,
[24:56] they can't do it now. Like, we are in a crisis with this,
[25:01] so. And the only people who can save it are ourselves.
[25:04] Christi Gmyr: So.
[25:05] Okay,
[25:06] well, and then also, you know, in terms of, like, our partners, our spouses, I know a lot of times,
[25:13] you know, they, they want to be a great source of support, right? They see, you know, their partner maybe struggling or having a hard time.
[25:21] You know, what are. So what suggestions would you have? Or, you know, what would be some ways that spouses or partners can support a new mom who they see is strong, struggling, you know, they just really want to be that support for them.
[25:35] Yeah.
[25:36] Stephanie Straub: So oftentimes when we see somebody who we love and care about struggling, we swoop into problem solving mode.
[25:48] Christi Gmyr: Right?
[25:49] Stephanie Straub: And we want to offer solutions and like, hey, do this, Try this. Have you thought about that? Right.
[25:55] And that for a lot of people,
[25:58] um, that's the last thing that they need to hear when they're in the depths of that kind of distress.
[26:04] Christi Gmyr: All right?
[26:05] Stephanie Straub: What they need is somebody to kind of get in the hole with.
[26:09] So if you're. If you're in level of distress with depression or anxiety, you're at the bottom of a pit and it's dark and it's muddy and it's damp and it's stinky and it's lonely.
[26:21] Right?
[26:22] And what often those helpers do is they stand on the top of the hole, the outside of the hole, and they look down in the Hole and say, what. What you doing in that hole?
[26:28] Like,
[26:29] here are all the ways in which you can get out. Okay. And what we really need are people to get in the hole and just sit in that distress with the person and bear witness to their struggle and bear witness to their pain and just say, I'm so sorry you're struggling.
[26:46] And I wish I could take this away.
[26:48] And this is awful. And I can see it.
[26:51] Right.
[26:52] And then that empowers them to maybe start to see that there's hope and that they can start to do the things to get themselves out of the hole. Right?
[27:04] Christi Gmyr: Yeah.
[27:05] Stephanie Straub: Yeah. And I think. I think a lot of times we say, let me know, you know, people who want to help, let me know what I can do to help.
[27:13] It's so hard.
[27:15] You've just added something to their list.
[27:18] Like, okay, now I have to think of ways that you can help. Just do the help.
[27:22] Just do the help.
[27:23] Send the meal, Drop off the freezer. Meal. Right.
[27:27] Come over and mop the floor or fold the laundry.
[27:31] Christi Gmyr: Right.
[27:32] Stephanie Straub: And a lot of people, they want to help by holding the baby. We. I love holding a baby. That's not always the help the mom needs. Right? Yeah.
[27:42] Christi Gmyr: So it sounds like, go and just do the help, but it sounds like also listen to what the mom is actually saying she needs when you come to give the help.
[27:51] Stephanie Straub: Right? Sure. Yep.
[27:53] Christi Gmyr: Well, because, I mean, if you're saying, like, you know, sometimes that them holding the baby, like, really, there are other things that maybe could be more helpful in at that particular time.
[28:01] Stephanie Straub: Right, Right.
[28:03] Christi Gmyr: Yeah. Okay.
[28:05] So what is.
[28:07] What do you wish more women just knew about this phase of life, how it affect us? You know, we were talking before about how so much of this is just a surprise, so much of it is just so unexpected and things like that.
[28:19] So what do you wish more people knew?
[28:23] Stephanie Straub: I'm gonna go back to kind of something I said earlier, which is the grief point. I think that that's something that a lot of people don't expect is the. The sense of loss that they might feel about certain elements of their life before baby.
[28:38] And I remember having my daughter and. And running into somebody.
[28:43] She was about three months. This
is my. My oldest daughter, and she was about three months old at the time.
[28:47] Christi Gmyr: And.
[28:48] Stephanie Straub: And so I had her in the little carrier, and the person came up to me and was, like, kind of patting her head and was like, oh, my gosh. Can you even remember before she was here?
[28:56] I was like,
[28:58] yeah, it was great.
[29:00] Like, Right.
[29:01] So, like, the implication that just, like, who I was and what my life looked like. Like, just like it's supposed to be eradicated from my memory.
[29:09] Like,
[29:10] and I'm glad that I was in a state where that didn't make me question everything I was thinking and feeling at the time. But for a lot of people, that could really send them over the edge of like, oh my gosh, like, what's wrong with me that I still remember it and I still long for it.
[29:25] Right.
[29:27] Nothing's wrong with you. That's perfectly normal and natural. Because again, while a lot of this is lovely, a lot of it's just really, really hard.
[29:35] A lot of it is really, really hard. And it's okay to grieve and expected that you are going to grieve aspects of your life. And that's okay. That's okay.
[29:44] Christi Gmyr: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[29:46] This is just, I have to tell you, this is all.
[29:49] This is so amazing. Like, this is so helpful and I, I know, like, we could go on and on and on and talk about this all day,
[29:56] but obviously, I know, I know everybody's got, you know, other things that they want to doing today as well, you know, including you. So where, where can listeners learn more about you and your work?
[30:06] They are one to. To understand these things better. Just reach out to you. Where do they go to do that?
[30:12] Stephanie Straub: Sure. So I have a private practice where we provide mental health services to mostly women and we specialize in reproductive and maternal mental health. And that practices CNY therapy solutions.
[30:29] And we are www.cnytherapysolutions.com or CNY Therapy solutions on Facebook. We're seeing my therapy solutions on Instagram as well. And then I have content on TikTok.
[30:45] And my handle there is mama therapy at mamatherapy on TikTok where I share information about the struggles in a little bit more of a real raw and less professional way because it's TikTok and that's what makes TikTok fun.
[31:02] Christi Gmyr: So.
[31:03] Okay, great one. So obviously, you know. Well, I shouldn't say obviously, but I will make all that information available in the show notes. Anybody who is wanting to learn more about Stephanie, who's wanting to reach out to Stephanie or her practice or anything like that, watch her TikTok.
[31:20] So what is, what is maybe one final before we wrap up for today, like, what's one final piece of advice or what's one thing that you would really like to say to any moms who are listening right now who are either concerned about having a baby or who are having a hard time with the ITF going back to work after having a baby,
[31:36] you know, anything like that.
[31:39] Stephanie Straub: I would. I would probably just reiterate, this is hard. This is probably the hardest thing you'll ever do. It will challenge you in ways that you can't anticipate.
[31:47] It will hold a mirror up in front of you that you don't want to look at the reflection.
[31:52] And for a lot of people, they desperately love their children and they really struggle with parenting,
[32:00] and that's not uncommon.
[32:02] And it's okay.
[32:04] And with help and support,
[32:06] it will feel better.
[32:08] It will feel better.
[32:10] Okay, great.
[32:12] Christi Gmyr: Well, thank you again so much for being here. I really, really appreciate you taking the time. I know you're very busy, and I think this is going to be just so helpful and so valuable, you know,
[32:23] for all the moms who are listening.
[32:26] And as always, you know, for the moms who are listening, if any of this resonates, if any sounds to be helpful, any of the things that we talked about today, helpful or valuable, you know, please share this podcast with any other mom.
[32:38] You know, feel free to reach out to Stephanie. Feel free to reach out to me if you need any additional support,
[32:45] because we are all in this together.
[32:47] So thank you again so much.
[32:49] Stephanie Straub: Thanks, Christi. This was fun, same.
